Streams of Consciousness

Today it became official that my layoff from work became a termination.  Last week I got the letter telling me that the manual states that if you're not called back by a month from the day that you were laid off that it terminates your employment.  I was a little panicked after the first couple weeks, wondering what I was going to do if they didn't call me back, but by the time I got the letter it didn't matter anymore, I knew it was done.  It's essentially the same reaction I had five days after my ex left.  His uncle told me that no matter what I did, he wasn't coming back, and at that moment I decided that I had plans and it didn't include chasing after somebody who didn't want me.  Same with the job.  I'm not going back to get the few little things I left in the desk, because except for the back scratcher they weren't particularly personal things.  I've decided that I need to do something different, and I'll do what I can, odd jobs here and there, online things, mystery shopper stuff, to make money, and eventually I'll get a real job again.  It's not like I don't have any money coming in, I still have the crossing guard job, so I'm not completely screwed.  I'm going to try to make some money writing, which is my dream job anyway.  If I can make money that way, I'll be happy, especially if it becomes a major source of my income.  It's slightly daunting having to start over after working steadily for as long as I have, eleven years straight, over seven at this one alone.  Sitting home is BORING as all get out, I'm so used to the routine of going to work.  With the ecomomy the way it is and the job market the way it is right now, I'm thinking that it's going to take a while to get a normal job, which is the other reason I'm just going to do what I can to make money.  I couldn't have done this ten years ago, but there are a lot of ways to make money through online avenues.  If I can come up with a business idea and figure out how to make a website, I might even go that route.  This could turn out to be a good thing in the long run.