Streams of Consciousness

For the second month in a row my sister didn't come up with all the rent money she's supposed to contribute.  Luckily I had a little money saved up for the summer, and it was enough to make up the difference, but now I have no backup for the next couple months.  We had told her we couldn't cover for her again, but when she doesn't tell us until the day rent is due, we don't have a choice.  Anyway, Mom finally confronted her about it, and my sister said she didn't care.  She wrote this note about how she doesn't care about anything, let alone how we feel about her not coming up with the rent money.  That prompted Mom to finally have it out with her, which Mom doesn't normally do, because she doesn't do conflict.  She hates it, because she doesn't handle it well, but I have to hand it to her on this one, she held her own for a change.  

She now understands what I've known for a long time.  My sister hates us.  I think it's because we remind her of a past that she hasn't ever been able to come to terms with.  I know that physically I look a little like the biological father.  Not as much as I used to, because I'm older now and my face has changed, but enough for her to always be reminded.  Somehow she blames Mom for everything that happened when we were kids, when it was the biological father she should be blaming and understanding that Mom did what she could with completely crappy circumstances.  She had no coping skills, but she did what she could.  Yes, there were things she could've done differently, but when you're in the moment it's difficult to come up with just the right thing to do a lot of the time.  Things could've been a lot worse, so you have to give her that.  I understand this, but I've been through years of introspection and therapy, and my sister obviously hasn't done the work she needs to do to be halfway normal.  

Mom got so fed up that she told her that she could move out in the fall.  I guess when your kid essentially tells you that she hates you, you finally get a backbone and realize that you can do better without the hassle.  My sister told her that when she moves she's not going to let anybody know where she is.  You can't get a clearer declaration of hate than that.  Mom has done so much for her, more than she should have, but she doesn't care.  She's used her the whole time she's lived here, until recently, and now she doesn't want anything from her.  Except or money to cover her responsibilities of course.  She's 44 years old and can't be held responsible for anything.  It's always been a problem with her, but it's getting worse.  I know that it will be tighter financially without her living here, but Mom and I will be better off in every other way, so it'll be good.